Can you have a relationship with a meat-eater?

Can you have a relationship with a Meat-eater?

Breaking news! Not everyone is a vegHead (yet). There are still people in this world who eat meat, which means it is still possible to fall in love with, or continue to love, a meat-eater after you become a vegHead. What should you do if you’re in love with a meat-eater? Can you have a relationship with a meat eater without being a hypocrite? How can that relationship last?

First thing’s first.
Get over what other people think of you. The vegan and vegetarian communities are getting more and more judgmental towards each other (this is especially evident if you watch some of the more famous YouTube vegans and vegetarians). Remember why you went vegHead in the first place, whether it was for your own health or your love for animals. You’re doing your part, regardless of the initial reason you gave up meat. Don’t let what anyone else may think about your life affect how you live. They don’t have to look in the mirror and see your reflection staring back at them – you do.

Can you hold your partner to a vegHead standard without being a bitch?
I know there are tons of people out there that could never be with someone who eats meat. I’ve even heard of people breaking up with their partners after becoming vegHeads because their partners didn’t want to convert to a plant-based diet. Are those people wrong for holding their partners to the same dietary and/or moral standards they set for themselves? Absolutely not.

If the fact that your partner eats meat disturbs you to the point that you can no longer be with them, it’s okay to separate. If you could never date someone who smiles at dead flesh on their dinner plate, don’t date a meat eater. You don’t need to read this article to know that. After all, there are people in the world that cannot and will not be with someone because of their religious beliefs, political beliefs, or even their lack of funky dance moves (of which I have none). You do what feels right to you, because you’re the one who has to wake up next to them every morning.

What if you just can’t say good-bye to your beef-eating bae? How can that relationship work?
Welcome to my world. Hey, how you doin’?

I’ve been pretty open about my dislike for the taste of meat my entire life. I left the table hungry when I refused to eat the meat put in front of me as a child, snuck meat to my dogs when I was older, and spooned the pieces of chicken off my plate and onto my boyfriend’s plate as an adult. (Because I’m classy like that.)

I still ate meat  a couple times a year, but I didn’t become an openly Fit & Fancy VegHead until last year. I hadn’t had meat in a long time, but I decided to finally put a label to my meat-hating ways back in 2014. It’s been 7 months since I “came out” to my family and my grandparents still think I going to die any day now from a lack of protein.

I had been with my boyfriend, Jonathan, for a year or two prior to openly cutting out meat from my diet. My decision to become a vegHead didn’t surprise him, since he was the one on the receiving end of me spooning my food onto someone else’s plate. He understood my decision and even agreed to try the lifestyle for a while. He gave it his best shot, 5 months, several awesome and not so awesome fake meat substitutes, and 10 extra pounds. He told me about his meat cravings when he had them and almost never gave in. Then last month he confessed he didn’t want to continue to omit meat from his diet, but he did want to reduce the meat and dairy he previously consumed to once or twice a week.

Was I crushed? Did I give up on him, like he gave up on my lifestyle? The lack of ex- in front of his title should have been your first clue. I still love that man-child and we are still together.

To me, the fact that he tried it for several months before deciding a vegetarian lifestyle wasn’t for him is enough. Yes, there is dead rotting flesh in my refrigerator (far away from my fresh veggies and fruit); there are times my house smells like cooked meat; and I am grossed out at what he likes to eat. But I love him and I’m not willing to end our relationship over one aspect of our lives. Honestly, that’s what this issue comes down to.

Is your [future] relationship worth one aspect of your life?
I can’t answer that for you in this article. Again, you are the only person who can answer this question for yourself.

As far as I’m concerned, being a vegetarian does not define who I am. I still think the same as I always have, still have the same personality, and my friends are all the same (most of them eat meat). I still love the same man-child, and I don’t plan on changing our relationship because we have different dietary tastes and tolerances for the meat and dairy industry.

This is my decision for my life. You can make up your own mind on what works for you. I’m just here to let you know it can be done.


Are you in a vegHead/meat-eater relationship and want more tips on how to make it work? What’s your opinion on this type of relationship? Let me know in the comments.


7 thoughts on “Can you have a relationship with a meat-eater?

  1. BloomLisa says:

    I am 11 years married to a meat eater. He will eat vegetarian as long as it is “tasty”, which is a quality vegetarians also strive for in their food. Finding a partner who is open minded, and being so yourself, will facilitate a harmonious food relationship. He does buy better meat and eat less meat after watching some food docs with me too. Great post! Also, when I read the Dalai Lama’s cat, it had a great section on being vegetarian versus a meat eater. Even the Dalai Lama eats meet sometimes, but teaches being a vegetarian as best. The chapter has many great points that opened my mind to new degrees of tolerance.


    • Fit and Fancy says:

      Thank you for sharing that! It’s always nice to hear from other vegHeads who are making a vegetarian/vegan and meat-eater relationship work. I agree that having an open minded partner is a huge advantage. I think it also pushes us to get creative in the kitchen and find more non-meat recipes our partners love. (Which we will also love, hopefully.)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. wannabplantbasedLinda Zaworski says:

    I am newly vegan, 5 months, and my hubs is still omni. But.. I have to say, HE makes better vegan meals than I do and he even cooks better vegan meals than his “normal” food. I pray eventually he will go vegan, but I don’t pressure him. It took me 47 years to do it, everyone is at their own pace. But I’m thankful he is supportive of my change.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April @ Fit and Fancy says:

      Linda, that’s so great to hear! I think having a supportive spouse is important, whether or not they become a veghead. You’re so right that we all grow at our own pace. If he make you a better person, then he’s an amazing person to have in your life. (Also, keep at it! 5 months, heck yeah!)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s